Christian theology in a Sudanese context. The beginning of the story of God and humankind. The Bible is not a collection of independent verses that can be taken out of context, in any order or priority. The Bible is a progressive revelation of the One and only true God. It shows us God’s creation of humankind (Genesis 1:27). It shows us people choosing to rebel against God’s will and His purpose (Genesis 3:1-20). It shows us God’s plan to save us from the sin in which we were hopelessly trapped. It records how Jesus Christ opened the way of salvation (John 14:1-7). The Bible ends with the symbolic unveiling of “Jesus making everything new” (Revelation 21:4-6). From the beginning to the end, the Bible is one grand and true story that moves from start to finish. It should always be taken as a whole. As we read all through the Bible, we must see what God is doing. The Old Testament is the ‘covenant’ or ‘agreement’ God made with people about salvation before Jesus Christ came into the world (Genesis 15:1-6). The New Testament is the new covenant Jesus achieved, as the only mediator between God and humankind (1 Timothy 2:5,6). In one sense, they are not different covenants, but the same one – started in the Old Testament and finished in the New. Abraham demonstrated that God enjoys people having faith in Him (Hebrews 11:6, 8-10). The Old Testament Law shows us that no-one can live up to God’s standard. The New Testament Gospel – good news – shows us that we can be made acceptable to God, through Jesus Christ (Galatians 3:19-25). It is essential that we connect all the stories together when we are reading the Bible. We must see the place that every single one has within the whole. If we do not do this, we could easily get completely the wrong idea! It is a good idea to keep in mind a summary of the Bible’s big story, like the one that follows: God is – Genesis God creates– Adam and Eve Humankind rebels God judges by flood – Noah God scatters all the people – Babel God calls His chosen person – Abraham This continuing special family move into Egypt – Joseph God brings them out of captivity, after the Passover – Exodus / Moses God gives the Law Disobedience results in aimless wanderings Entering the promised land – Joshua Ups and downs under the leadership of Judges A king is appointed – Samuel / Saul The best times for Israel– David / Solomon, the prophets speak for God The kingdom divided– the prophets continue, but are largely ignored Exiled into Babylon Years after, going back home – Ezra / Nehemiah The birth of Jesus Christ – Gospels Jesus' life and teaching Jesus' death and resurrection The Christian church in Jerusalem – Acts / Peter Persecution and the problems of growing – Paul Expansion to all peoples everywhere God brings everything to its climax – Revelation / John Thinking it through. (a). From reading ONLY Genesis 1:1; Genesis 3:1; Genesis 12:1; Genesis46:1-4; Exodus 3:7-9; Exodus 20:1-3; Joshua1:1-5; and Jeremiah 32:36-41; what do you think is THE theme of the Old Testament? (b). From reading ONLY Mark 1:1; John 20:30-31; Acts 1:1-5; Colossians 1:3-6; and Revelation 21:1-4; what do you think is THE theme of the New Testament?

The Master's Instructions about Himself. Colossians 1:9-2:10. Paul wrote about Jesus Christ as if he had known Him for years on this earth. In fact he had only briefly met the risen Lord while on a journey to Damascus. When he asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ he was told, ‘I am Jesus, Whom you are persecuting’ (Acts 9:5). That was his first encounter with Jesus, but not his last. The rest of his life was spent in praising God for his knowledge of Jesus Christ, and pursuing God for a greater knowledge of Him. He was very concerned that the people he led to faith in Jesus Christ should also grow in their knowledge of God. In beginning his letter to the Colossians, Paul links God the Father and God the Son. He says that God is ‘the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ’ (1:3), God is the founder of ‘the kingdom of the Son He loves’ (1:13), and that ‘God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in [Jesus Christ] (1:19). A true Christian knows Jesus Christ as God’s only begotten Son. Jesus Christ is God’s Son (Colossians 1:3, 13) The Father’s voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son,’ immediately after Jesus was baptised (Matthew 3:17). Peter spoke up that he believed Jesus to be ‘the Christ, the Son of the living God’, after the Father revealed the truth to him (Matthew 16:16). He had lived with Jesus – watching Him and listening to Him, wondering about Him and learning from Him. A Roman centurion who watched Jesus die on Calvary’s cross exclaimed, ‘Surely He was the Son of God’ (Matthew 27:54). From before the creation of the world, through the time He was conceived in Mary by the Holy Spirit; through His crucifixion to His crown in glory now, Jesus Christ is God’s Son. Jesus Christ is the image of God (Colossians 1:15) God expressed Himself to the human race in a form that we could understand. Jesus Christ as a man is God’s expression of Himself to us. We receive an unmistakable impression of what God is like, what He does, what He wants, Who He is and how He acts, when we look at Jesus Christ. Jesus is the Son Who shows His Father’s characteristics because the fullness of God lives in Him. We cannot see Him as Peter did, nor as the centurion did, nor probably as Paul did, but Jesus did promise that the one who believes will be blessed (John 20:29). Jesus Christ is the Creator of the world (Colossians 1:16-17) What is true of everything else in the world around us is not true of Jesus Christ. He is not a creation of God. He is God the Creator. He was before all things and He is the beginning of all things. He was present at creation. Genesis 1:26 records God saying, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, in Our likeness’ (italics mine). John said that nothing that has been made has been made without Him. Jesus Christ is also the power of creation. His word once created something out of nothing and His will now keeps all things from becoming nothing again. What a comforting thought, to think that He who made all things now promises to make all things new in the life of any believer. Jesus Christ is the Head of the Church (Colossians 1:18-21) His resurrection leads to our regeneration. Although we were in a state of alienation from God, because of our sin, we can now live in reconciliation with Him because of our Saviour. Christ took our sin onto His body and saved us with His blood. His propitiation made peace with God for us. All men and women who are born again belong to His church. He is our Head and we make up His body. He expresses Himself through our hands and our hearts. We express ourselves to Him by our worship and witness. If I am born of God, then Jesus Christ, God’s Son, is my Saviour. I must learn to receive Christ Jesus as Lord and be rooted and built up in Him. It is not sufficient to become a Christian. I must also be a Christian. The resources I need are all in Christ and Christ now lives in me. Discussion guide on ‘God the Son’ Read Colossians 1:9-2:10. 1. Discuss briefly how anyone can “grow in the knowledge of God”, 1:10 2. What fundamental change has occurred in the Christian, according to 1:13-14? Share ideas on what this means in everyday life. 3. How many facts about God the Son can you find in verses 1:15-23 ? Perhaps you can make two lists: What God the Son is and What God the Son does (There are at least 8 facts). 4. Now put all of those Bible quotations, from your lists, into your own words, trying to express exactly what the Bible means about God the Son. 5. Humankind was created in the image of God, Genesis 1:2,6-27. God the Son was born as “the image of the invisible God”, Colossians 1:15. What does this tell you about the kind of life Christians should lead in order to be what we are made by God to be? 6. “Christ is the mystery of God, in Whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge”, Colossians 2:2-3. Why is it vitally important to learn as much as we can about Jesus Christ? 7. Put Colossians 2:9 into your own words, being very careful not to change the meaning of the text. Share it with other class members for their comment.

Issues facing Christians in Sudan today. Money section. by Elisama Daniel Corruption is referred to by Anwar Shah as the use of one’s public position for illegitimate private gains. It is the use of power to do dishonest or illegal things in return for money, or to get an advantage. Corrupt behaviour is behaviour that is dishonest, illegal or immoral, which negatively affects the norms of society. Corruption is the abuse or misuse of power, authority, position or resources entrusted to somebody. Corruption takes what is for public benefit and instead uses it for personal gain. It may benefit one person or support many cronies. Corruption is a racket – an illegal activity that makes hidden money. It is dishonest or illegal behaviour by powerful people. Such people abuse their power. Corrupt people lack integrity, are morally depraved, dishonest and disloyal except to themselves. In Sudan many of our community values do not permit corruption or stealing. In some communities a thief, a corrupt person or family, is stigmatised. Songs are composed to demonise such acts. At the same time and by the same people however, any public property or other resources belonging to the government (and hence to the people) are considered as things that can be legitimately plundered and scooped! During colonial times, “government” hakumat was perceived as belonging to the colonialists khawaja. Post-colonially after independence “government” was not only the khawaja, but also the Arabs or the Khartoum regime. Southern Sudan especially viewed it this way. Among the Nuers of Southern Sudan “government” or hakumat refers to a small group of clever and powerful people who protect themselves by arms while exploiting and using the resources of those they see as the foolish majority. Please read thoughtfully through the following list. It is easy to criticise other people while overlooking things hidden in your own life. It is easy to skip some things while focusing on others. Bible reading Matthew 7:1-5. Corruption means: Bribery and the bribing of agents. Bribery is a form of corruption expressed in the giving or receiving of something that is not deserved. Money or a gift is given to alter the behaviour of the recipient in ways not consistent with the duties of that person. It may be in breach of law in which case bribery constitutes a crime. Different social and cultural norms surround bribery. Expectations of when a monetary transaction is appropriate can differ from place to place. Tipping for a job well done is considered bribery in some societies, while in others that merely rewards good service (after the event). The bribery offence may be divided into two great classes: the one, where a person invested with power is induced by payment to use it unjustly; the other, where power is obtained by purchasing the services of those who can make things happen (before the event). Bribery may also take the form of a secret commission, a profit made by an agent in the course of his employment without the knowledge of his employer. Bribery has may other names including a consideration, a sweetener, a kick-back, etc. All will be secret, not declared to the higher authorities. Bribers all have one thing in common and that is the financial ability to pay. Therefore it always abuses the poor. (adapted from Wikipedia). Corruption means: Please keep thoughtfully reviewing your own heart and life. Bribery and the bribing of agents Giving secret inducements for advice or for service Deceiving the principal (the employer) Refusing to report or denying an act of corruption (to cover up or protect) Conflict of interest: Somebody defined this type of corruption in two forms; one as productive corruption where you award a contract to your own company, your spouse or close relatives, and the work gets done. Awarding the same contract to the same persons but the work is never done is referred to as malignant corruption. One cleaner form of corruption in the conflict of interests is the so-called “kick-backs”. Here the contractor owes a certain percentage of his remuneration to those people who awarded the contract Improper benefits to board members, to trustees or employers, in return for making an appointment or passing a decision Bid rigging, facilitating procurements or contracts in order to be rewarded Abuse of office, power or authority; causing administrative malpractice Dealing with suspect property Fraud Embezzlement or the misappropriation of public funds Graft Breach of trust False witness; false reporting especially on your income, assets and liabilities if you are requested by the relevant authorities Dishonesty over liability for taxes Failure to pay taxes, fees, levies or charges payable to public bodies Effecting or obtaining non-payment of taxes, levies, fees or charges to any public body to which they are payable Election of persons to public office by false process Unlawful acquisition, mortgage, and disposal of public property, service or benefit Damage to public property Fraudulently making payment or excessive payment from public revenues for substandard or defective goods, goods not supplied or not supplied in full, or services not rendered or not adequately rendered. Failure to comply with applicable procedures and guidelines for procurement, allocation, sale or disposal of property; in the tendering of contracts; or failure to follow procedures in the management of public or organisational funds, including when incurring expenditures. Bribery can be active – the person giving, or passive – the person receiving. Bribery is a form of corruption that is expressed in the giving or receiving of something that is not deserved. Please keep examining yourself! Once I was coming from Nairobi, Kenya, at the Jomo Kenyatta International airport. A policeman helped push my trolley and took me to the check in desk. Later he helped me with immigration. I however, made myself known to him. He asked if giving a gift to a policeman was bad? I told him that any gift given with an intention to influence a decision or to cause an action in favour of the giver, constitutes a corrupt act or bribery. Principles for facing corrupt systems or people in life situations 1. Resolve never to defile yourself or to spoil your Christian testimony Daniel 1:8-9; Matthew 16:24-25; James 1:27. 2. Always consider what the other people involved are going to think of the Jesus you show them by what you are doing 1 Corinthians 10:32-33 to 11:1; 1 John 2:9-11. 3. Live in the light. Avoid doing things you’d rather hide Luke 11:33-35; Romans 13:12. 4. Be different from those around you and show you are a Christian disciple Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 5:17. 5. Influence the world around you rather than let it influence you Matthew 5:13-16; Hebrews 6:10-12. 6. Be bold in the faith God gives you Acts 4:13; Acts 4:18-19. 7. Follow what is best for your Christian spirit, not necessarily what is best for your body 1 Peter 2:11-12; Matthew 10:17-20. 8. Always be honest Proverbs 16:13; Proverbs 16:19; Proverbs 16:25. 9. Choose against the promises that a bribe may appear to offer you Exodus 23:8; Deuteronomy 16:19; Proverbs 17:8; Proverbs 17:23; Proverbs 18:16; Proverbs 19:6; Proverbs 21:14. Remember to live by Proverbs 15:27 "The greedy bring ruin to their households, but the one who hates bribes will live". (NIV). Discussion guide Using this chapter and Scriptures quoted: 1. What goes through your mind when you are faced with either offering a bribe to someone or being frustrated in what you are trying to do? Does the fact you are a Christian make a difference to how you feel? And what you do? 2. Corruption in humankind was one of the reasons God destroyed, using the flood, Genesis 6:5-13. God viewed the Israelites’ “golden calf” as their corruption, Exodus 32:7-10. Throughout the Old Testament God is against corruption of any sort in His people, for example: Ezekiel 20:43-44. If our society tolerates any degree of corruption, but our God does not, what should we do? Why? Give examples if you can. 3. The Hebrew word sahat to corrupt also means to destroy.7 What is destroyed in any society that allows bribery and corruption? 4. Why is it easier to see corruption in anonymous “other people” (for example “the government” or “those local officials” or “the contractors”) and not in yourself or your friends? How can this be overcome? Be practical with your ideas. 5. Explain the importance of keeping all transactions public – with no secrecy. Why are bribes, inducements, kick-backs, favour payments, etc. paid secretly? 6. “A greedy man brings trouble to his family, but he who hates bribes will live”, Proverbs 15:27. Why is this a good verse to live by? Is it easy to do so, or is it hard? Why? Which Bible verses or Bible characters help you to live successfully in God’s sight? 7. What do 1 Corinthians 10:32-33 and 11:1 tell you about (a) other people watching how you live? (b) selfishness and selflessness? 8. Read John 3:19-21. Explain why Christians should live openly and not secretly in matters such as business deals, education achievements, obtaining official documents, etc.

(written 12th April 2007). A laryngectomee is a person who has had their larynx (voice-box) removed. The actual operationto remove the voice-box is called a laryngectomy. Hello my friend, thank you for listening to me tell you my story. I want to tell how God has helped me through a most traumatic change in my life. In February 2006, after being a Christian preacher for 40 years, I began to experience difficulties with my voice in conversation and when speaking publicly. From April onwards my local doctor and hospital ran various tests and treatments, but with no improvement in the condition. In October 2006 the hospital consultant diagnosed carcinoma sarcoma – a life-threatening cancer – in my throat. Scans showed it had not spread anywhere else in my body. Neither chemotherapy nor radiotherapy were appropriate treatments. To save my life on this earth Treliske hospital surgeons completely removed my voice-box, during the morning of 17th November 2006. Many people were praying. God was both recognised as sovereign and reminded of what his children wanted, in a remarkably worshipful and submissive way. I have met many people who have great difficulty seeing the merciful God in the harsh events of their lives. My heart is moved for them. You may be one? Here is something I wrote to a newspaper in reply to someone who was questioning the existence of God because of the terrible situations he was having to face: · Eight days ago surgeons expertly removed my voice box because of an aggressive cancer. For a Christian preacher that was a major reversal! But I don’t have any hard feelings against God. How could I? · I know God is my loving Father in heaven. He always does what is best for his children. I am one of them. · Unlike some, I have clearly seen the mercy of God throughout my experience. · In God’s mercy I am not dead. I could easily have left this world. The medical skills given to men and women are based on knowledge of God’s creation. The tender care I am receiving from professionals in the English National Health Service is exemplary. My wife – though immensely challenged herself – has been a tower of strength for me, still helping me find the way forward when our eyes are full of tears. · God’s mercy gave me a normal human body that can mend itself remarkably well. He gave us friends who have expressed their love, care and prayers through cards, phone calls, meals, lifts and visits. I am part of a local Christian church and a green bowling club. Both have expressed practical care for Brenda and for me. I see all of this as evidence of the merciful hand of God. · “Mercy” in English means “the compassionate treatment of an offender”, or “patience and forbearance towards those people in one’s power”. · God is mercy. He does not merely have mercy. He will never lose it! He is merciful in his very self-being. God also has very, very large amounts of mercy towards humanity. We are individually invited to receive mercy from our holy God. Now it is five months since God took back the voice he lent to me for 57 years. I am learning to use an implanted silicone valve – a voice prosthesis. I can speak only quietly. I can just be heard if the room is otherwise quiet. My wife, Brenda, and I are adjusting to new levels of communication between ourselves. We still face daily changes in our roles at work, in socialising and for recreation. It is a steep learning curve. There are frequent challenges with my coughing, breathing, swallowing, and speaking! We cry together. We wonder about the future together. We enjoy making the most of the present day. We daily thank God for his goodness to us. We discover again and again that God’s provision for our various needs is awesomely sufficient. We have enough – we do not need any more than enough. We believe God wants me to write rather than preach! (That was not a difficult conclusion to come to!). Most of the articles presently on this site were written before my laryngectomy. I am now working on others, revisiting my filed sermon and study notes, and seeking to listen to what God wants me to make available for encouraging others in their Christian preaching and teaching. Thank you for sharing with me. I welcome correspondence and will always try to reply in due course. Colin Salter – April 12th 2007

Christian theology in a Sudanese context. The beginning of the story of God and humankind. In the book of Genesis God uses the word ‘Man’ for naming ‘people’, both male and female (Genesis 5:1,2). It is the Hebrew word ‘Adam’. It refers to human beings, Homo sapiens. It is ‘man’ as opposed to animals or machines, not as opposed to ‘woman’. This word ‘man’ includes ‘woman’. The English dictionary defines ‘human’ as “characterising, or relating to man and mankind; consisting of people, man, woman or child”. In the older creeds and confessions of Christian theology, ‘man’ usually means ‘human being’ in this way. God did not need to create humankind. He was not lonely because He had perfect fellowship within the Trinity (see chapter nine). God created us, not because He had to, but because He wanted us! We are formed and made to live for God’s glory (Isaiah 43:6,7; Ephesians 1:11,12). Therefore, every person who lives is important to God. When you walk through the industrial areas of Khartoum you can see men making things. Wood is used to make tables and chairs. Steel is used to make cupboards. Plastic or rope twine is used to string beds and stools.Even tea leaves are used to make ‘chai’ in early morning and when it is time for ‘fatur’ in mid-morning. The people who make these things have purposes for the items they make. And God has a purpose for us. Every person is best fulfilled by doing what God made him or her to do. Man is made to reflect God’s own likeness, within the limits of our humanity (Genesis 1:26-27). We should be the image of God, each with a good, holy character, knowledge and lifestyle (Ephesians 4:22-23; Colossians 3:10). Man represents God in governing the rest of creation and is like God in many ways. The same words ‘image’ and ‘likeness’ of Genesis 1:26-27 are also used when Adam and Eve had their son, whom they called Seth (Genesis 5:3). As a child has characteristics of its parents, but is not exactly the same as its parents, so we are made to be mirrors of our creator God – being as much like Him as we can. Jesus Christ is “the image of the invisible God” and the “exact representation of His being” (Colossians 1:15; Hebrews 1:3). Jesus is Man as God wants all people to be. One day in the heavenly future there are going to be many like Jesus! All Christians, from every tribe, nationality, and people-group, will be there and will be like Him (Romans 8:29; 1 John 3:2)! At present we all have an inner sense of right and wrong, which shows we have a morality like God. We can also reason and think in logical ways. We begin to think the thoughts of God that we should. By this we show that mentally and spiritually we are made in God’s image. We can relate to God and to each other in family and community. In its turn this reflects God and how He personally relates to Himself as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The dignity every person has undoubtedly been given by God, should always be reflected in the way we treat every other human being (Psalm 8:3-6). Thinking it through. (a). In what ways are all people ‘in the image of God’? (Genesis 1:27). (b). Why did God create people? (c). How is Jesus different from all other men, in God’s image?

The Master's Instructions about Himself. John 14-17. It is a mystery that God is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He is for ever One and yet for ever Three persons, without being divided. We cannot fully understand this nor effectively illustrate it. God refers to Himself in the Bible as plural, ‘Let us make man’ (Genesis 1:26). ‘Who will go for us?’ (Isaiah 6:8). Both the Hebrew and Greek languages permit the usage of the word ‘one’ to mean a compound unity in a similar way. The Father is not the Son Who is not the Holy Spirit. Yet God is the Father, God is the Son and God is the Holy Spirit. There is one God Who reveals Himself as three persons. We cannot say they complete each other because they are individually complete. What is contradictory to our human intellect is quite straightforward to a Higher Intelligence. In John 14:15-17 all the Trinity are mentioned. Jesus is introducing His disciples to the Holy Spirit. He tells them that He is going to leave them, but the Father is going to give them the Holy Spirit. We can learn many things about the Holy Spirit from these chapters. The Holy Spirit is a person Although He gives power, He is a person. Jesus refers to ‘Him’ not ‘it’. The word ‘another’ (14:16), means another of the same kind as Himself. You will find the Holy Spirit is like Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit can be known by people Those who would follow Christ will be filled with the Holy Spirit. The crowd at large cannot accept Him, but the Christians cannot live without Him (14:17). The Holy Spirit is a teacher He reminds us of the words of Jesus (14:26). He helps us to realise Who God is (14:20; 15:26). He convicts the world of sin (16:8). He convinces the conscience that some things are right while others are wrong (16:9-11). He is a guide Who will always bring glory to God through Jesus Christ (16:13-14). Like any gift, the Holy Spirit has to be received. The Father gives Him to be with us for ever (14:16). The Father sends Him to help us remember everything Jesus did and said. The Son sends Him to testify about Jesus as we ourselves tell what we know (15:26-27). If you are born of God then God the Holy Spirit is given to you to help you live a Christian life that pleases God. Real Christianity is living a spiritual life in the middle of this very real world with all its temptations. It is not easy. It cannot be done through human strength alone. It is essential that every Christian comes to know the Holy Spirit. He equips the Christian to serve in the Church and He enables the Christian to show Jesus Christ to the world. The Bible says that He produces gifts and graces in the life of a believer (1 Corinthians 12:7; Galatians 5:22-23). The book of Acts shows what the Holy Spirit achieves through men and women who are available to His ministry. In Romans 8 Paul appeals to you to know the Holy Spirit in your own life. You can know His control over your mind (v.6). You can know His way (v.14), His witness (v.16), His help (v.26) and His heart (v27). There is always something attractive about a mystery. Children love to play pass the parcel and they eagerly feel the package to guess what is inside. As each layer of paper is unwrapped more the contents are revealed. Do not be put off by the mystery of the Trinity. Make it your aim to know God in all His fullness while at the same time recognising He is beyond your understanding. Discussion guide on ‘God the Holy Spirit’. Read John chapters 14-17. 1. John 15:8 should be seen as the aim of this book. Every Christian's aim is shown here: how do we “show we are Jesus’ disciples”? 2. How many names for God the Holy Spirit and how many jobs that He does can you find in these chapters? Perhaps you can make two lists? Names for God the Holy Spirit What God the Holy Spirit does (I found 15 spread between both lists). 3. How do you know the Holy Spirit is a Person and not just a force or a power? 4. Look these passages up and see how the Holy Spirit is referred to, and that He has the qualities of God Himself: Acts 5:3-4 Matthew 28:19-20 2 Corinthians 13:14 Hebrews 9:14 Psalm 139:7-13 Romans 15:17-19 Luke 1:35 1 Corinthians 2:10 2 Peter 1:21 5. Try to learn by heart Romans 8:16. “The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children”. It is important for every Christian to learn how to listen to the inner voice of God the Holy Spirit. Discuss how this can be done.

Issues facing Christians in Sudan and South Sudan today. Money section. I came across opportunities for bribery several times when I lived in Khartoum North—when my family needed residence visas to live as guests in the country; when I needed my library of Christian books cleared to enter Sudan through airport customs; or when we disputed a water bill for our home after the pipes were cut and an electric pump was stolen. In every case, if I had given money to one of the officials my needs would have been quickly met. Employers paid these men and women to do their jobs, but the people wanted something extra from me before they would help me. I never gave anyone anything because bribery is against the laws of Sudan (bribery and extortion). It is therefore against the teaching of God in the Bible, see Romans 13:1-7. I could make up excuses to myself: I needed to settle to my work as a pastor and not give time to the residency process. The good Christian study books would be useful to so many other people as well as to me. Everyone has a basic need to have some water for cooking, washing, etc. We were no exceptions. Following these excuses I could break the law. But, my Christian conscience tells me that bribery is always wrong, so I never do it. 1. Bribery is a crime when a gift given changes a person’s behaviour while they are doing their duty. A bribe makes things easy for the person who sins by giving it, see Proverbs 17:8; 18:16; 21:14. But making things easy does not make it right. God holds each person accountable for what they have done, see Proverbs 3:9-10; 9:10; 10:9; 10:16; 22:2-4; Isaiah 1:23-26; 5:25. Does it honour, worship and respect God to give (or to receive) a bribe? Is bribery a good use of money in God’s eyes? He sees even what is invisible to other people. 2. Bribery supports selfishness and greed in the receiver Accepting a bribe indicates selfishness—not caring about your employer, your client or the poor (who cannot pay). All that concerns you is what you want, Proverbs 28:20-21. It also shows greed—extra money means more to you than a clear conscience. Bribery is the result of greed, Proverbs 15:27. When bribery is used it cultivates the roots of much evil in people and in society, 1 Timothy 6:9-10. God’s people, especially the leaders, must always avoid “dishonest gain”, Exodus 18:21. The giver and receiver of a bribe are both guilty. 3. Bribery shows selfishness and impatience in the giver Bribery is often given to speed things up. It is convenient to forget that when I am brought to the top of the list, plenty of other people are pushed lower down it. Do I ever think what is the effect of my actions on other people waiting in line? Am I only selfish in my concern? A bribe may simply be a gift given with the wrong motive. Genesis 1:26,27 teaches me to see and consider God’s image in every other human being. In Mark 12:30-31 Jesus says we express our love for God by loving other people. When tempted to use bribery and make things quicker, I must remember one visible sign of God the Holy Spirit living in a Christian’s life is patience and another is self-control, Galatians 5:22-23. Who or what do I trust as I do my work? Do I show my trust in money or do I show my trust in Jesus? Do not trust in your riches to buy your way through, trust God and live in righteousness, Proverbs 11:28. 4. Bribery corrupts systems of judgement The more it is allowed to go on the more corrupt the system becomes. The motive for giving any gift must be examined, see Exodus 23:8. If a gift is given secretly to “buy” a contract for your business, or to secure an appointment with a migration or resettlement official, to get your house connected up to the electricity, then it is wrong. Of course you may have to pay a fee. The fee will be public, in the company accounts and liable for government tax. Bribery will try to hide away, Proverbs 17:23; Ecclesiastes 7:7; Matthew 17:24-26. . In this way bribery denies justice to the poor. They cannot pay anything extra for what should be theirs anyway. While other people pay bribes to get what they want, the poor become disadvantaged, Deuteronomy 15:11. Bribery promotes discrimination, favouritism, tribalism, and bias in any system. Christians should be the ones who stand up for the poor and break the corrupt cycle, Deuteronomy 16:18-20 5. Bribery is commonplace They hold the power! People use their position to withhold something until you pay them something extra than the salary from their employer. This is acceptable in some parts of Sudanese (and other) culture, but acceptance does not make it right! For example, slavery was acceptable in my (English) culture in centuries past (as it was among some people in Sudan). But slavery was, and is, wrong! Christians can offer respect to other people, but still choose to live differently. We are Christ’s representatives! In time, people will respect us for our honest and upright lifestyle. Daniel is an example of someone who God honoured in circumstances that appeared to be against him, Daniel 1:3-20. He and his three friends were ready to be different and ready to be tested, verses 12-13. God worked on their behalf, verses 9 and 17. We walk in two worlds: the lifestyle of the Republic of Sudan (or now South Sudan) and the lifestyle of the Kingdom of God. When cultural acceptance clashes with biblical right and wrong, true Christians will consistently choose to follow the rules and patterns of Christ’s Kingdom. Discuss at this point: Suppose you were in prison, facing probable execution. Suppose the one in authority over you let it be known to you and to your friends that a “consideration, a sweetener, a commission, a fee, a bribe” would lead to your release. As a Christian what should you do? (After your discussion see what Paul and the early Christian church did in Acts 24:26-27). 6. Bribery tries to avoid the cross Christians should carry The idea that bribery is “necessary” is relative to the price you are prepared to pay to operate without it. The hard way is usually God’s way. The Christian asks: not “what works?”, but “what is right?” A Christian who chooses to follow the world’s ways loses his or her Christian influence, Luke 14:25-35. 7. Bribery compromises Christian witness How can you explain the gospel to someone you regularly bribe? They don’t see your God as able! Using bribery teaches the people you bribe that your God is not able! Remember the three friends of Daniel? They would not compromise their Christian consciences by bowing down to the pressure their community put upon them. They stood firm for what they believed in. They were determined to do so even if it meant being burnt to death, Daniel 3:13-18. Verses 26 and 28 show that the country’s leaders eventually understood their godly witness. When people SEE our values, they will judge our JESUS by our choices in life. 8. Bribery’s consequences include poor quality work, inappropriate awards or contracts, delay for other people, victimisation and oppression of the poor who cannot pay. From a purely human perspective these things are disasters: People are killed on the roads because drivers buy their driving licences rather than passing a test to prove their ability. Children are poisoned by eating food certified as safe by an officer who took a bribe rather than properly test the production processes. Buildings collapse because the builders’ “bought” certificates rather than building correctly (and probably more expensively). 9. A climate of bribery is catastrophic for trust Bribing is manipulating the system. Some business practice shows we are fallen (sinful) people living in a fallen (sinful) world. Bribery is a quick payment—a small contribution made. But the highest of prices is paid in personal corruption, in business corruption, in state corruption and in social corruption. Leviticus 19:35-36 standards disappear Proverbs 11:1 hidden trickery is expected Proverbs 29:27 mistrust produces hatred Matthew 5:37 words cannot be trusted James 3:6 corruption spreads from words into everything A Christian must be different from the world around him: Proverbs 4:20-27. 10. Bribery is usually covered up Secrecy versus publicity is a good test! If secrecy is necessary, a gift, a tip, or a donation is a bribe! Can I defend my action—publicly—without dishonouring the name of Jesus? If secrecy is necessary, what you are doing is wrong! Achan buried his goods stolen during the battle of Jericho, Joshua 7:1, 20-21. But there are no secrets from God. God brought catastrophe to Achan’s nation, and to Achan’s family and eventually to Achan himself, Joshua 7:25-26. Humankind is always trying to hide from God, Genesis 3:8-9, but it has never worked and it never will. “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy”, Proverbs 28:13. A Christian plan of action: Decide to honour God, always, John 12:25-26. Resolve to be like Samuel. Towards the end of his life, as he was handing over leadership to his successor, nobody in the entire country could charge him with doing wrong, 1 Samuel 12:2-5. Live in the sight of God. The Bible’s books of Kings and Chronicles tell stories of people who “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord”, and were blessed while they did. They also record others who “did evil in the eyes of the Lord” and brought judgement upon themselves and their nation. Accept the human consequences, Matthew 5:11-12. Protesting for purity in the transactions of life may bring prejudice and persecution. Pay this price, because it is the right price. You may say something like this: “I know the system, but I want to work the legal way”. Live in righteousness, while trusting in God, Matthew 6:31-34. Discuss using this chapter just read and Bible passages referred to: In Matthew 28:11-15 chief priests bribe Roman guards to tell a false story about Jesus’ body and His resurrection. They paid money to try and corrupt the truth. If you were offered a bribe (for any reason), 1. what would you do? 2. why would you do it? 3. how would you work out the consequences? A bribe aims to influence a person who is only doing their duty. Think prayerfully … Are the following 5 statements True or False? Say 'why' if you can. It is right when someone has baked bread I can buy it from them at an agreed price, which covers their costs and gives them a reasonable profit. It is wrong when someone is already being paid to process my “new building permission” that I pay them something extra before that permission is granted. It is right that I am charged an entrance fee to study at school or college, but it is wrong if I offer extra cash to a staff member, so that I (or my child) can graduate near the top of the class. It is wrong to appoint my friend to a job when he is not the best qualified person who has applied, but I remember he has given me something in the past. It is neither right or wrong to give Christmas or Eide gifts to someone I know I will have to ask for business help later in the year. Why are these statements True? Or, why are they False? Extra Discussion guide (some discussion is already set within the chapter above) Using this chapter and Scriptures quoted: 1. “My Christian conscience tells me that bribery is always wrong, so I never do it”. Do you agree or disagree? Why? Try to be biblical in your reasoning either way. 2. In the following Proverbs parts appear to suggest bribery is a good thing: Proverbs 17:8; Proverbs 18:16; Proverbs 21:14. Why are these verses in our Bibles given it is not to support bribery? Consider also Ecclesiastes 7:7 and Ezekiel 22:12. 3. Explain how bribery encourages “the love of money” which is itself “a root of all kinds of evil”, 1 Timothy 6:6-11. What evils come from bribery? 4. Why is doing “what is right before God” more important than “what works here in Sudan”? 5. The writer of Proverbs 4:23 says we must “guard our hearts”. Explain how Daniel and his friends did this, and explain the effect such a strong decision had on their entire lives. The account is in Daniel chapters 1-6.

Christian theology in a Sudanese context. The beginning of the story of God and humankind. Sin is any rebellion against God and His will for our lives. Sin involves choosing to please ourselves and not to please our Father in heaven. I sin when I do not love God with all my heart, my soul, my mind and my entire self. As a sinner I miss the mark God has set for me. The fact that all people are sinners is obvious from thinking about the world in which we live. We, the people who share our lives, as well as others we only hear about, all fall below the high ideal God has set for every person and revealed in Jesus. I confess I am ‘a young earth, seven day, mature creationist’. I believe that the world was made in seven days, but with an appearance of age – as Adam was made in one day, but looked as if he was a man of (say) twenty years. Students in my classes at Banat, Bahri and Gereif were sometimes puzzled about what I personally believed. I reveal this now, because it introduces the Genesis 3 account of a breakdown in the close relationship between God and humankind. Adam and Eve chose to doubt God’s word, to follow their own way of satisfying their personal desires, and to deliberately disobey God’s specific command. I see that as sin three times over! The couple added again to their sin, by trying to fix it themselves and then by trying to hide away from God. All of this is often known as ‘the Fall’– the first distinct act of rebellion against the will of God. The New Testament refers back to this event several times (Romans 5:12-14; 1 Corinthians 15:21-22; 1 Timothy 2:13-14). All people have sinful natures. Parents never have to teach children to be bad! All children know how to be bad. All human nature is still in rebellion to God, as a result of the events in Genesis 3. I do not have to do anything to be a sinner. I am a sinner, seriously cut off from the Holy God. Let’s imagine there is disagreement between a group of Nuer and a group of Dinka over cattle grazing. Two young boys, one from each tribe, had become friends at school in the town. For several years they had walked to school together from their houses on the edge of the grazing land.They had learned together, they had played together. But now, their tribes had become enemies because some from the Nuer accused some from the Dinka of stealing animals. The boys themselves had not actually done anything that would change their personal friendship. But because of the actions of others in their tribes, they found themselves suddenly to be ‘enemies’ of each other. Because of Adam’s sin against God, I am no longer God’s friend. Adam was a human being just like I am. His actions have affected my relationship to God. “… sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned …” (Romans 5:12). Sin is universal in that it affects everyone. It is also universal in that it affects everything. So our minds, our emotions, our behaviour, and our created world, our community systems for government etc., are all infected with the deadly, corrupting influence of sin. Wilbur O’Donovan taught at the Evangelical Theological College, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, as well as six other African schools or colleges. He wrote clearly on this subject: “Little did Adam realise how terrible death would be! Physical death of the human body is only part of the terrible death penalty. Death touches everything in a person’s existence. It touches a person’s body, mind, emotions, relationships, marriage, family life, society, government, and even the physical earth itself”. The results of sin are everywhere about us. Work is often hard and joyless. Childbirth is regularly painful. Snakes slither with menace along the ground (Genesis 3:14-19). The created world itself struggles as cruel natural disasters happen now within its cycles of life (Romans 8:19-22). God created humankind to reflectHis own glorious self. Men and women have amazing ideas and abilities. We enjoy the freedom to choose to live holy and loving lives. But we have thrown it all away! Rebelling against God’s way, and thinking our own way was better, we have made the mess we are now in. Humanly speaking, there seems to be no way out. We were created by God. We have become separated from God. We are unable to enter heaven. God has closed the door and put His own guards outside (Genesis 3:23,24). In Khartoum many guards are employed to look after buildings used by companies or families. Jobs may include looking after the grounds, cleaning the vehicles, answering any knocks at the gate, and overall, keeping out any thieves, and other people who should not be allowed in. I had several friends from congregations at SIM, who worked as guards in the three cities and at some other properties along the Blue, White and Nile rivers.Sometimes thieves would still manage to break in, perhaps while the guard was asleep or away for just a moment. The guards of heaven never make any mistakes. Since it is God Who has closed the door, we must listen to Him as He tells us what to do next. Thinking it through. (a). Suggest a general definition of ‘sin’. (b). “I do not have to do anything to be a sinner. I am a sinner”. Explain what the difference is between ‘being a sinner’ and ‘sinning’. (c). List as many things as you can – at least seven – that are affected by human sin.

(written 10th January 2008). In the ENT clinic at Barncoose hospital I realised that this diagnosis was our answer seven months of uncertainty. We had not known what was wrong with Colin’s voice and throat. We did not know why he could not preach and teach in his job as usual. Suddenly we did. The consultant said they had found a carcinoma sarcoma – a potentially lethal and vigorously growing cancer. The whole voice-box would have to be removed, and quickly. I felt numb. I did not seem to be panicking, yet somehow I felt I should be! It was all rather surreal. I functioned without feelings. What followed was a whirl of activity for twenty-three days. We went to oncology at Treliske hospital and were introduced to the multi-disciplinary team who would be looking after us. There was the consultant surgeon, the speech language therapist, the pathologist, the dietician, a general nurse and the MacMillan nurse. An operation date was fixed there and then. It was five days later than the date first selected due to the surgeon’s other commitments. We emailed many friends when we arrived home. We phoned particular family members. I chased around to buy Colin tie up pyjamas for hospital as he doesn’t normally wear them! Back at the hospital we had a pre-operation assessment. This was exactly the same as for two previous micro-laryngoscopies with biopsies. They had been in July and October. Nothing at all to be alarmed about in this. But after the P.O.A. we were invited by the Speech Language Therapist to meet a laryngectomee in her office. I really think it would have been better if I had never seen and heard this man. The encouraging assurances from the team about the new voice Colin would have post operation did not ring true with what I saw or heard. This meeting definitely made me much more apprehensive. Two days before Colin had to check in to the ward we celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary. We had a steak lunch at our favourite hotel in Redruth. We were both aware that we did not know if we would ever do this again, but we did not really talk about it. We were very fortunate that a student nurse, who was a friend with common interests, was appointed to study Colin’s case as part of his course. He would be with Colin through the entire hospital process. He was even able to phone me at home, directly from the operating theatre. He put the consultant on the phone, who said he was very pleased with the operation and felt he had removed the complete cancer, sound and intact. Tests would later confirm this. When I first visited Colin the evening of the operation I was not unduly put off by what I saw. I knew where and what they would be cutting. I expected all the tubes, though not necessarily the noises. I remember being impressed by the warmed, humidified oxygen puffing and gurgling to help the bronchia cope with no longer being attached to Colin’s nose! I chuckle when I remember calmly sitting in one corner of the ward while the duty staff went into overdrive because Colin had blacked out. I had a strong advantage over them. I’d seen this many times before. I knew that, if left alone, he would come round after a short while, usually with a bright smile on his face. I was reluctant to go home that evening and to leave Colin in hospital. I had nursed him through many things before and I really wanted to be with him now. The staff kindly said, “Come in any time”. Later on, this made it harder when I was asked to leave the room while staff removed one of two drainage tubes from Colin’s neck. I cried and cried as I walk up and down the corridor – it seemed forever – before I was called back in. I recognise that this is a clash between open visiting hours and the needs of patient treatment. I also recognise that I had been on an emotional roller coaster ride. It was good that the tears had the chance to flow. On a lighter note, during the two week stay in hospital a physiotherapist was asked to help Colin breathe in better oxygen levels (they were checked on the regular blood pressure and temperature rounds). She decided Colin needed to exercise, but this was rather difficult when attached to the wall and bed by a variety of drips, feeds, monitors and drains. So we developed our own form of the American Stroll – forward, 2,3,4, backward, 2,3,4, etc. and brought much apparent amusement to the staff by counting and walking miles hand-in-hand yet never being more than four steps from his bed! Of course, normal communication between us had been taken away. Colin could not talk. The Speech Language Therapist provided a magnetic pad with stylus for writing. Colin also kept copious notes of the daily round of hospital activities along with all the important information he was told by the medics on their rounds. When I first came in every day I sat and read these to catch up to date. We could still hold hands. Our family were naturally very concerned for both of us. Every evening on returning home I sent some emails and made some phone calls. People said I must take care not to become overtired. Colin wrote some emails from his laptop which he was able to have with him in hospital after it was electrically checked and stamped. I think writing was a great therapy for him. Our son lives locally, but our daughter and family visited from Southampton on a couple of occasions. The welcome visits caused extra disruption to their usual lives as well as to mine! Plenty of people were offering help to me in the time of crisis. Normal life outside of hospital was suspended. Only what had to be done was done. For me the crunch came when Colin left hospital after fifteen days. We were given lots of equipment – a portable suction machine (which we never used), cleaning brushes, back plates, Heat and Moisture Exchange cassettes, pipettes, etc. But at home there was no immediate back up with medical knowledge and encouragement. Suddenly there was only the two of us! The first two nights I did not sleep but lay awake wondering what every single noise coming from Colin was. Coughing, spluttering, gurgles and crackles. Was he still breathing? I checked – remembering where to check as now his nose and mouth were not involved in that activity! Those first nights I nervously checked many, many times. Perhaps a home visit from a professional would have been confirming and encouraging after two or three days, just so I could know we were doing OK. Having said that we were invited to the Speak Easy Club (for laryngectomees and their carers) Christmas dinner. It was just five days after leaving hospital. At the regular follow up clinics our surgeon still talks of his amazement at seeing Colin eat a full-trimmings Christmas dinner, albeit slowly, so soon after his operation. At home I believe I was shocked – and I possibly still am – by the new situation we faced together. Communication is reduced to the bare essentials. There is a lack of incidental comments. Colin has the promised voice but I did not realise just how limited it would be. Colin gets frustrated and annoyed when I cannot understand what he is saying. I was surprised he did not keep on writing things down like he did in the hospital. I definitely expected more from the voice. Perhaps the positive talking by the professionals built too high an expectation in me. I was told the new voice would not sound the same but it would be recognisable. I don’t remember being told it would not be as instant as the natural voice, nor would it be usable in all situations. I sometimes count myself as a carer for Colin, but at other times I don’t. Of course I try to watch out for him, and to look after him as best I can. But I do not have to be beside him every moment of every day as some carers are for their loved ones. Our situation could be a whole lot worse. The most challenging thing for me has been to take responsibility for initiating conversation and communication between us and when our friends visit. I am by nature a responder, not a starter. Now I find I have to take more of a lead because Colin cannot. It is hard. Trying to think of things Colin would enjoy doing, while I am still coming to terms with the situation myself, is also tough. For example, going out for a meal, or having folk round for dinner is good because company is stimulating for Colin. He always used to be mixing with many people in his pastoral work at the church. But now talking while eating is difficult. And conversing where there is background hubbub is impossible. Having Colin around all the time at home is a big challenge too. He used to be out visiting, teaching, etc. Now there is a total change of family dynamics. There is no doubt that Colin’s attitudes have changed during this fourteen months. His aggression, which led to me spending one night at our son’s rather than at home, is out of character. I am sure coming off long term painkillers after two replacement knees contributed to this, but I also recognise an underlying change. The gruffness of his new voice accentuates this feeling I have, especially when I am having a bad day myself. I have noticed that many of our friends are unsure what to do with Colin. Some do not visit because of their uncertainty, which is disappointing. When I am asked, I always say, “Please come”. The stimulation of talking with other people is beneficial even if the physical effort in talking takes its toll. Talking with one or two in a quiet room is much easier than talking anywhere else. I sometimes limit the time for people when they come because I know Colin’s voice wears out after a while and he easily gets overtired. I wish more friends came to visit and to stimulate meaningful thought. Colin’s role in Church and Mission leadership may have gone, but he still has all his wisdom and experience – may be even a bit more now than he had before! A lot of people visitedaround his time in hospital, but very few come along now. I get disappointed when people say to me, “Is Colin back to normal yet?” The laryngectomy is a permanent operation. There is a new normal! Like me, people have to come to terms with the present, not wait for the past to return. As a Christian I have been greatly helped by knowing that God has allowed all this to happen. We both believe God knows what He is doing. I do not claim to understand the “why?”, although the writing Colin is now doing for the Sudanese Christian church is being widely used out there. He would not be doing this writing if he was still pastor of Khartoum International church. I would like to say that I have been helped by bingeing on Fruit and Nut chocolate bars! Many times it felt like it helped, but the reality is the opposite. It certainly did not help my figure. It has been good to hear from other laryngectomee carers at our Speak Easy group and especially in one another’s homes. I don’t remember being warned to expect psychological impact. Sharing that we face similar battles in life: tensions at home, out of character behaviour, motivation, etc., helps me carry the load. I am relieved to realise that it is not only us who have our troubles. I also thank God for a few close friends who have offered necessary cuddles and who have maintained an ongoing interest in us both. Looking back I wish we had had a patient and partner talk with a professional advisor about the psychological impact of this operation. To have been forewarned of how it would affect life – the depression, the temper, the frustration and aggression, character changes and illogical thinking. A further automatically generated talk, after two to three months, for evaluating ourselves may also have been good. I feel I need help in working out who is the real Colin now. This is not so much helping us cope with cancer. Cancer has been no real problem to us. It is much more helping us understand the effects of the treatment on us, as two loving individuals. May be this is “clinical psychology”, I don’t know. The Speak Easy club is of much more benefit to us now, after fourteen months, than it was to begin with. But we had to attend all the meetings, and meet fellow laryngectomees and carers in their and our homes, to get where we are now. It takes time before confidence is built and there can be genuine yet comfortable sharing. Trusting relationships take a while to build. When they are built, they offer strength and support. I still feel very sad at the frustrating limitations that Colin has to live with. And I see them every day. But I also remember that the alternative to this operation was, “two months to live”. Not having Colin would be much worse than seeing him like he is now. I do not think things get easier as time goes by (fourteen months post- operation for us). The operation and the stay in hospital are the easy bits. Life is ongoing and this life is rather tough. I understand we have lost ease of communication and exchanged it for what I call economy of conversation. We have lost the ability to do what we pleased. We now have to live within fairly strict limits of speech and of breathing. I have lost a leader in my life. He is not the “go-getter” he used to be. We have lost our pipe dreams for our older years. I hope and pray that, with God’s help, I can cope with tomorrow.

The Master's Instructions about Himself, Colossians 3:1-17. The Christian life has to be lived. Paul describes it in Galatians 2:20: ‘Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God.’ Various men and women may help you in your Christian understanding, but only God can make you grow. In Corinth, Paul planted the gospel seed, the Bible teacher Apollos watered the seed through his ministry, but ‘God made it grow’ (1 Corinthians 3:6). Paul told the Colossians that the gospel was producing fruit and growing all over the world and that it would do the same among them (Colossians 1:6). Planting leads to production through the process of Christian growth. How does this work in your life? I used to live on the eighth floor of a block of flats near London’s Heathrow airport. On a clear day the sky seemed to be filled with aeroplanes. Gradually my wife and I worked out their pattern of approach, and sometimes we could pick out seven or eight planes descending in a giant spiral preparing to land. When flying into Heathrow myself, I’ve been able to work out when we have begun gradually descending in one of these ‘stacks’ – circling around and around, until it’s our turn to break off and land. The spiral or stack is a good illustration of Christian growth – except that the planes come down and we Christians should be going up! As a Christian God makes you sensitive to some sin in your life. This is the work of God the Holy Spirit (John 16:8). At that precise moment you have a choice. You can steel yourself against God and say, ‘No, I’m not going to crucify that area of my life. I want it too much.’ You are free to make that choice. The consequence would be to lose your living walk with God. What God requires is that you submit your will to His. He wants you to yield control of your life to Him. He wants you to let go of that sinful habit, wrong attitude or ambition. As you submit to God, Christ becomes Lord in that area of your life (1 Peter 3:15). Every time you crown Jesus Lord in this way, you are Holy Spirit-filled (1 Corinthians 12:3). You have chosen spiritual life not death (Romans 8:6-11). You have said that you serve God and you do not serve sin. You have chosen to master sin through Christ rather than let sin master you. You have complied with God the Father’s will. You have consecrated yourself through God the Son. You have co-operated with God the Holy Spirit. What happens next? Immediately, you become even more sensitive to sin in your life. The more the holy life of Jesus is in you, the more aware you become of your human sinfulness. This does not mean you are further away from God, it means that God is calling you up the spiral! He has brought you back to the same spot, but higher up than you were before. You are getting ready to break away and land – not on earth, but up in heaven – although you will probably have many, many more turns to make before the Controller calls you in. Every time God brings you to a place of choice, your response determines whether you go up or down the spiral of Christian growth. What you permit God to do produces growth. What He requires releases life. What you stop God doing will stunt your growth. Christianity is a life that has to be lived twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. What God is doing in you will work out in your life. As God convicts you, choose to yield to Him. Claim the Holy Spirit as you consecrate yourself to Christ. Then keep on keeping on. That is Christian growing. Discussion guide on ‘the Process of Christian growth’ Read Colossians 3:1-17. 1. Verses 1-2 show us clearly that as Christian disciples we face daily choices. We will either look up to heaven and do what God wants, or we will look around at the world about us and end up doing what it wants. Share with the group some of the choices you have had to make recently. 2. Describe, in your own words, what the Bible means when it says: “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things”, verse 2. 3. “The more the holy life of Jesus is in you, the more aware you become of your human sinfulness”. Explain why this is true. Does it mean you are becoming more sinful, now you are a Christian disciple? If not why not? 4. How do you “put to death” your pre-Christian human nature? (verse 5). 5. Progress in the Christian life can be seen in these steps (below), which are taken again and again in life. Start from the bottom line: 6._______________________________God triggers MORE growth, etc. /////// 5. _________________________________/ The Christian has greater sensitivity to sin / Romans 8:12-14 and John 16:7-8 4. _____________________________/ The Holy Spirit is released in the Christian – / 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 and John 16:13 3. __________________________/ Christ becomes Lord in the Christian - / 1 Peter 3:15 and Colossians 1:18 2. _______________________/ The Christian chooses to yield to God – Romans 6:13 /and 1 John 1:8-9 1. _____________________/God triggers growth in the Christian – Philippians 1:6 /and 2:13. Look up the Bible verses for each of the five steps. Discuss how the Christian disciple is taken through these steps again and again as he or she grows more like the Lord Jesus. Where are the key choices made?

Issues facing Christians in Sudan and South Sudan today. Money section. Right ways and Wrong ways of Using Money In 2005 a man from Khartoum wrote this in a letter to me : “As a Sudanese Christian I have listened to people say they are poor, unable, unfit, un...anything to give to God. All they feel able to do is to receive. I am ashamed that many of my fellow Sudanese Christians are like that. Time and again we see from experience—and from the Bible—that when the people of God come together we can face up to our desperate challenges. Then God helps us to overcome them”. “Our Lord expects us to give back to Him from what we have. We are never accountable for what we do not have! By not giving to God we are for sure denying ourselves His blessings. We are closed to God. We say we do not want God’s blessings. Instead, we seek donations from so and so”. “When individuals and families belong to a local church, and tithe, and give offerings to God through it, we can free ourselves from being dependant on outside help all the time”. Bible reading: 2 Corinthians chapters 8 and 9, which talk about the nature, significance and patterns of Christian giving. God’s grace was seen by the way they used their money! “this act of grace on your part”, (N.I.V.) 8:6 “see that you also excel in this grace of giving”, 8:7 “you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ”, 8:9, who made Himself poor, for the benefit of others. We meet the Macedonian church in Acts 16:9-17:15. It included people from Philippi, Thessalonica and Berea. They were new Christians in very young churches. They faced persecution in daily life, Acts 17:5-9; 1 Thessalonians 2:14. Yet they were very keen to give to a collection for relieving the suffering saints in Jerusalem, 2 Corinthians 8:1-4. “they were extremely generous in their giving even though they are very poor”, (Good News Bible) verse 2. “they gave as much as they could, and even more than they could”, verse 3. “First they gave themselves to the Lord; and then by God’s will they gave themselves to us as well”, verse 4. Some people from Macedonia joined Paul’s travelling team, Acts 19:29; Acts 20:4. They willingly gave themselves and their time and their talents—as well as their money. A person’s money is his or her own energy and effort converted into Sudanese pounds or dinars! When you give your cash, you give part of yourself. If you have no money—you can still give things like your skills, your strength and your hospitality. The principle in 2 Corinthians 8:15 comes from Exodus 16:4-5, 21-22. God miraculously provided for thousands of His people who were in the desert. Their key was passing God’s test for obedience: “Gather.. eat… and save what is appropriate for each day”. God supplied. Obedience brought blessing. Question: God promises to meet our daily needs, Philippians 4:19. Why do so many of us have to struggle with this week by week? Think about these things. They help us towards an answer: It is partly the general result of humankind’s sin, Genesis 3:17-19. “through painful toil … by the sweat of your brow ...you will eat”. God intends all of mankind to work hard for a living, Exodus 20:9. “six days you shall labour and do all your work”. Making the best use of what God provides through this work—or through other gifts received—brings a spirit of contentment, even in times of hunger, Philippians 4:11-13. I learn to make do with what I have earned or received. Jesus said: “Be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what He requires of you, and He will provide you with all these other things”, Matthew 6:33 (Good News Bible). Teaching our own families to live with Jesus’ priorities is sometimes difficult, but it is a part of our Christian responsibility. Where necessary some believers were warned by others of the results of their own laziness, 2 Thessalonians 3:6-13. Paul describes a “matter of giving and receiving”, Philippians 4:15. There are many similarities between Philippians 4:10-20 and 2 Corinthians 8 and 9. We all have more control over what we can give than we have over what we receive. When we give in the right way, we have done something towards meeting our own needs. There is no room for legalism in giving to the Lord. Twice Paul advises and encourages, but he does not command, 2 Corinthians 8:8, 10. 2 Corinthians 9:7 says: “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver”, (italics mine). We learn three facts from this text: The amount of the gift is not important, 8:3; 8:12. Tithing—giving 10%— in the Old Testament came before the Law was given. See Genesis 14:17-20, where Abram tithed to Melchizedek. We must never allow tithing to become a mere legalism. Jesus is the New Testament Melchizedek, well worthy of at least a tithe from us, Hebrews 6:19-20. In the New Testament tithing becomes regular, proportional giving, 2 Corinthians 9:7 (see above); and “every week … a sum of money in keeping with his (or her) income”, 1 Corinthians 16:2. Tithing and offerings above a tithe are both ways for us to give to the Lord. They do not have to be in money: They may be giving a percentage of our time, our skills and our strength in maintenance of church buildings and equipment—making no charge for it. They may be bringing to the church a percentage of the eggs our hens lay; the honey our bees produce; the crops we grow in our fields. They may be separating some of the sugar, lighting or cooking oil we buy from the market, and giving it for our church to sell or to use. They may be selling the first shirt we make every week, and putting the cash aside for the weekly offering. They may be putting a sum of money aside from what we have earned, and giving it to the offering at church, or for other Christian work. These first fruits—and similar things—belong to God! They are not ours. We steal from God if we keep them for ourselves. We waste His resources if we wrongly use them. What does God want you to do as your tithe and offerings? 2. The attitude in which the giver gives is very important. Good attitudes: 8:4 counting it a “privilege” to share 8:8 “sincerely” expressing your love” 8:11 a “continual willingness” 9:5-6 “generosity” 9:7 happily doing the right thing. Bad attitudes: 8:5 giving money, but not from a heart given to God 8:11 starting well, but forgetting to continue 8:13 jealousy of what others have 9:5 giving only “because you have to” G.N.B., and not because you want to 9:6 giving “sparingly” N.I.V., as little as you can! 9:7 giving sadly, out of duty rather than love. Jesus taught His first disciples the importance of attitude when He compared the poor widow’s offering with those of the rich people, Luke 21:1-4. “she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on”, (italics mine). Wrong attitudes towards giving and receiving had nearly wrecked the Christian church early in its life. Acts 5:1-11, some tried to deceive God and other people, (compare to Acts 4:32-37). Acts 6:1-7, some grumbled over the distribution of aid. Check your own attitudes over giving and receiving. 3. Given well, God anoints both the gift and the giver. The best methods for giving to God can be almost anything! They simply need to be from a sincerely moved heart! We can only give beyond our ability, 8:2-3, as God works in and through us. Jesus’ parable of the talents teaches us to invest what we have wisely. God will give the return, Matthew 25:14-30. As God’s servants we are to do good and to be faithful, verses 21 & 23. God promises a reward to those who give secretly—without public show—to help the needy, Matthew 6:1-4. Jesus said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive”, Acts 20:35. (A saying of Jesus not recorded in the Gospels, but remembered by Paul and Luke from oral tradition). Is God pleased with the way you use your money? Are you prepared to change your ways so that He can bless you? Five DANGERS with money, for us to be careful about: 1. Giving 10% to the church is not buying a blessing from God! It does not bribe God to bless you! In the 16th century something like that was called “an indulgence”. Martin Luther started the Reformation by standing against it. Jesus Christ has done all that is needed for salvation. No-one can buy it—or any other blessing—from God, “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!”, 2 Corinthians 9:15. Giving to God shows your love for Him, your obedience to Him and your worship of Him. 2. “A gift might be offered with altogether improper motives, so that the word comes to mean much the same as bribe”. We must never try to bribe God, or anyone else. Proverbs 18:16 (verses 10-11 urge trust in God, not wealth). Exodus 23:8 Deuteronomy 16:18-20. 1. Do not “pervert justice” 2. Do not “show partiality” 3. Do not “accept a bribe”. To bribe means “to promise, offer, or give something, usually money, to a person to procure services or gain influence, especially illegally”. Bribery is corruption. It is like a cancer—taking the nation’s life away. There is no honesty or trust where there is bribery. 1. It oppresses the poor, who cannot afford any money. 2. It steals from employers, who already pay for the job to be done. 3. It dishonours the name of Jesus in witness, because it shows that He cannot provide without us breaking the law to help Him out! (see Articles 8, 16 and 35, Constitution of the Republic of Sudan, July 1998). 3. We do not give because God needs anything! God is not poor! We do not need to help Him out. It is for our benefit that God wants us to give. By giving to God we show that we love God more than we love money, Matthew 6:19-21; Matthew 6:33; 1 Timothy 6:6-11. 4. Money is a temptation. We can all handle it wrongly. 1. Acts 6:1-7, delegation to a trusted, group of spiritual men 2. Acts 11:29-30, responsibility given to a respected team who would be held personally accountable 3. 2 Corinthians 8:18-21, clear and specific arrangements made with honest and transparent accountability. Everyone could see it was right! 5. Materialism is an increasing danger as Sudan develops economically. Peoples’ lives will become more dominated by money and things, and less controlled by spiritual values. I have found that the “love of money”, 1 Timothy 6:10, is often strongest among the poor. Our attitude reveals our eternal values, Matthew 6:19-21. As another friend wrote to me from Sudan recently, “It is easy to spend millions today and then to become a burden on others tomorrow”. How can we give to God and depend upon nobody else? In the Old Testament Law 10% of everything was God’s portion, Leviticus 27:30-34. In the New Testament Jesus fulfilled the Law. He said: “Whoever practises and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven, Matthew 5:17-20. Read again from 2 Corinthians 8:1-9. God wants us to give to Him and to His work. God wants us to give: liberally—verse 2, “in rich generosity” conscientiously—verse 3, “as much as able” sacrificially—verse 3, “beyond ability” deliberately—verse 4, “pleaded for the privilege” worshipfully—verse 5, “themselves first to the Lord” excellently—verse 7, “excel in this grace of giving” lovingly—verses 8-9, “test the sincerity of your love”. Every Christian’s offering is an act of worship, and an act of witness, and an act of willingness: “On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income”, 1 Corinthians 16:2. Discussion guide Using this chapter and Scriptures quoted: 1. Share examples you know of a Christian Sudanese “culture of dependency” on outside help. Do you believe this honours God? Why? Why not? 2. “Giving our tithes and offerings to God through our local church can free ourselves”. True or false? Why? 3. “When we give in the right way, we have done something towards meeting our own needs”. Why is this true? Who is in control of what we give to the Lord? Think of the principle, not the amount. 4. In the “good and bad attitudes” from point 2 (above), which of them do you find easy and which do you find more difficult regarding your own giving? If you can, explain why. 5. From Acts chapters 4,5 and 6 list as many good and bad examples of giving to the Lord as you can find. What is the main lesson you and your church can learn from them? 6. What are some of the dangers facing Christians as materialism and development come to Sudan? Explain how Matthew 6:19-21 can help Christians who want to combat this.

(written 16th January 2008, published as part of the Speak Easy “Our Story” book). In a clinic at Barncoose hospital, Redruth, I asked the consultant for the bottom line of what he had just said. “In two months this cancer will kill you if we don’t take it out”, he replied. It was days before my youngest son’s 30th birthday, and exactly two weeks before my 36th wedding anniversary. I thought about the implications. As a Christian I was ready to die and stand before God’s judgement, confident in the forgiving grace and mercy of Jesus. My daughter had once told me I was selfish to think like that – and I guess she was partly right. I also thought about our family. They were well set up in their own homes and careers. One grandson was months old so the next generation was emerging. My wife Brenda would be worried, given that her nature is very different from mine. Finally there was my work. I had already had to return from Sudan because of ill health, cutting short ten planned years of service after just four. Now I was starting to consider writing projects for publishing in Sudan, teaching what I would have done if I had still been there. Would all this be terminated now? We shared this news, first with our two grown up children, then our three brothers, and lastly with our friends locally and around the world. (When I say “We” I really mean Brenda, because I could barely speak). We were open with everyone. We know from experience that rumours quickly fill empty spaces where information is suppressed and so we told it as it was. We received back immense support and encouragement from everyone. There were lots of different medical appointments squeezed in between diagnosis and operation: · The Multi-Disciplinary team meeting, to be introduced to the people who would be responsible for our care. · A C.T. scan, to check if the cancer had spread anywhere else, with the results phoned through to us after a few days. As a patient you have to deal with uncertainty as you await these results. I think knowing even bad news, is easier to handle than the speculations of uncertainty. · A Pre-Operation Assessment of my fitness for the major surgery. · A visit to meet a laryngectomee with my Speech and Language Therapist. · And at my own G.P.’s surgery, a diabetic review. I remember the often repeated phrase at these events, “Have you got any questions?” Looking back I reckon I did not understand enough to be able to ask intelligent questions! If I had known the right questions to ask I may have got some answers! My mind was a befuddled blur. There were some good leaflets given to us which we devoured eagerly, in our own time, at home. One of the best was “Understanding Cancer of the Larynx” from the charity CancerBACUP. We were aware that life changes would happen, but it was all so new. And everything was happening so quickly I think we “heard a lot” but “took in little”. Our daughter and family arrived from Southampton to stay with Brenda during my operation. The morning of the afternoon I entered Wheal Coates ward at Treliske, we had a family walk in the blustery cold of Portreath beach. I took my laptop with me into hospital. I submitted it to the necessary safety test and it was awarded a green sticker! Doubts were expressed by some staff that I would use it during the 2-3 week stay. It turned out to be a God-send, enabling me to do a bit of work on my website, giving me daily purpose, a focus outside of my own condition, and some contact with other people. Using headphones I could also listen to my chosen music. The anaesthetist and surgeon both visited me on the ward and explained the procedures for tomorrow. The “patient-controlled morphine drip” fascinated me. I was told I could self-administer 1ml. morphine every time I pressed a button. I wondered how much I would use. I had never really thought of the pain after the 3-4 hour operation. I was told that every tube I discovered attached to me when I woke up would have its own purpose – and I was not to be alarmed. There would be at least two tubes in my new stoma (a hole in the neck to breathe through at the top of the windpipe). One would be a feeding tube as I would not be able to eat usual food until hemlines stitched inside my throat had healed. Another would be for a mixture of oxygen and moist warm air to help me breathe safely. I would also have two drainage tubes from my neck removing unwanted fluids like blood and serum. There would be more tubes in my arms and the back of my hands. These would be for intravenous infusions (drips), for my insulin, and for taking blood samples. And there would be a catheter for measuring urine output. I made that nine in all! I was warned of discomfort, frustration and depression in the days ahead. These were apparently normal responses to the laryngectomy, and the staff were ready to help me through. After I had been back on the ward a few hours I requested a mirror and looked at myself. I saw plenty of attachments, but basically the same ugly old me underneath. That first night was very long. Every hour my blood sugar and other things were monitored. Considerate as all the nurses were, sleep was elusive and punctuated. I remember being offered suction – a machine vacuum to clear phlegm etc. from my insides. As the nurse brought the tube towards me I opened my mouth to take it, and was surprised when she did not put it into my mouth but below and unseen by me, into my stoma. The breathing role of my new stoma was an important lesson to learn. Without the suction early on breathing becomes difficult. I recall once waking up feeling unable to breathe because of a clogged up valve. The requested suction soon brought relief. I soon got used to being flushed out and medicated through six inch long Plastipak tubes. The cool flowing liquids refreshed my inside. There was pain in my throat and from the various needle attachments, though it subsided quickly over the first few days. More than once I confused the morphine pump with the “nurse call” button, but it was nice to see the nurses anyway! I saw no shame in taking all the pain-killers I was offered. By mid-afternoon 24 hours post operation, I felt well enough to do an hour’s work on my laptop, editing one of my books to go on our Sudanese website. When Brenda and other visitors or staff came I remember being embarrassed by burps and gurgles coming from my stoma. I had (and still have) no control over them. When they come they come! It seems I worried over them more than anyone else. I knew from my work as a pastor that being in hospital is tough on the entire family. They have all their usual things to do as well as fit in time for visits. As a patient I looked forward to family visits, but I was also aware how demanding it was for them. I tried to reciprocate their love in visiting me by being considerate of their own needs too, and not expecting too much. I had ten days of only “Jevity” meals. These came via a tube from an inverted bottle of yellowish “squelch”, and would take 12-16 hours each. A dietician regulates the formula of this feed and suggests the quantity plus delivery speed. It was fed through the tube into my stoma, my oesophagus and then my stomach. I never once felt really hungry, even when others on the ward were tucking into their breakfasts or lunches. There were nuisance moments on the ward. Foremost for me was the palaver of bowel movements while being attached to so many immovable things. I found having to call the nurses for this embarrassing. Little things like being able to go to the loo and washing by yourself become big moments of great achievement. I recommend trying for this independence as early as it is safe to do so. One day, instead of the assisted washing I had been having on the bed, I decided I was free enough to have a wash in my room on my own. I did everything to do with it for myself, during which I discovered two things. Firstly, that a pull-over-the-head T-shirt top was not as useful as a front button opening shirt. (To wear the former means disconnecting several tubes in order to get it on). Secondly, when you are naked and you don’t have a voice, and someone the other side of a pulled curtain calls, ”May I come in?” you cannot stop them! I embarrassed at least one therapist, one nurse and one cleaner by being less than dressed when they called out and then just came on in! It was always fun trying to communicate with the staff. They were all very encouraging. I felt I made some friends. I had no voice so resorted to mouthing the words with my lips, gesticulating with my hands, and—at the last resort—using pen and paper or the donated “magic” scribble board. I last remembered playing with one of those as a child some fifty years ago. The “swallow test” was a big moment. This coloured x-ray would see if the inside wounds had healed enough for swallowing drink and food. They only happen once a week, so would make a big difference to being released to go home. I had to pass, or wait another week. I remember crying when I came back to the ward and telling Brenda, “I’ve passed”. Again the staff had been encouraging in the run up. The result almost caused them as much joy as it did me. Perhaps they wanted to get rid of me from the ward? Did I cause that much trouble? I spent a little while thinking, “How did I get this cancer?” I have never smoked and I do not drink more than a dozen glasses of wine a year. I hardly fit the “heavy smoker plus heavy drinker” image in the books and pamphlets, though I own up to being a bit overweight. The ultimate answer has to be, “God gave it to me” - otherwise he is not the Sovereign God I believe him to be. I also wondered why God was helping me heal so quickly when he chose not give me healing from the cancer? (At least, not without the intervention of a major operation). My response must be to accept the cancer, the operation and other treatment, plus all the consequences, as from God’s fatherly hand— and still worship and praise him. He knows and does what is best, always. I think it was more difficult for Brenda than for me during this hospitalisation. I had all the activity, she had the space to worry. Several times a day I heard first hand from doctors and specialists, while she had only my “memory” notes to read. I communicated as best I could when she visited, but it was not like it used to be. It would never be, ever again. On a practical note, Brenda found the £40 monthly car park ticket to be of good value, rather than paying at least £2.70 every visit. The day after I returned home Brenda was very, very tearful. She was coming to terms with the last three weeks of trauma as well as having to look after me at home, alone. A great deal of responsibility for my wellbeing now rested on her shoulders. She was having to cope with the real results of my laryngectomy: · Where was the best place we could set up as my permanent “cleaning corner”? Did we need to buy a table and any lights or mirrors? · I had an always visible hole and scars in my throat. · There was my coughing, wheezing, sneezing and sometimes runny nose. · I made a strange cacophony of noises during and after our eating together. Meals took longer. · There was the worry of sleeping next to me. What if I lost my breath while I was sleeping? Could she unintentionally (I presume!) block my stoma while she was asleep? · What would happen when people came to see us? · There was the underlying fear of not knowing what to expect. · How should she make decisions about travelling, working, going out to church, all leaving me alone in the home, etc. They say that communication is the key to a good marriage. Our problem was that now I could not speak and Brenda could not easily grasp what I was meaning to say amid all the gesticulations! The magic slate got some use and so did paper and pencil or pen. Without doubt for me the hardest part of living as a laryngectomee is to realise the impact this is having on my wife. My change of workplace from being largely out to being largely in. My reliance upon her for a lot of “first line” conversation with our friends, at the front door and on the phone. My intermittent coughing, occasionally causing me to fall through lack of breath.These and other ongoing health concerns still worry her with uncertainty. Brenda can see the stoma every time she sees me. I can’t! We wrote a detailed explanatory letter four days after returning home to three immediate neighbours, to our son and to our daughter. They all willingly received it and became involved with us as “emergency standbys”. I could jingle a little bell over the phone to them if I desperately needed help while Brenda was out. They knew how to get to me and how to get me to Wheal Coates ward, Treliske, as soon as possible. We are very grateful for their support, understanding and help. We’ve never had to use them yet. In general people have reacted thoughtfully to the new me. Some work colleagues and other friends I do not see as much as I used to, which I find disappointing. Shopkeepers, hairdresser, bank cashiers and the like have been very good at listening to my quietly spoken requests – some even coming out from behind their counters to put their ears to my mouth! In church, at the bowling club and at rugby most people do their best to make me comfortable. If my silence is seen as rude it is not meant to be. That may be a problem I am more self-conscious about than anything else. From time to time a fellow bus passenger will say, “I do hope you soon get over your bad throat”. I have given up trying to explain! A few have become most apologetic when I have explained my lack of voice-box. I did not mean to reprove them, but it has almost been taken that way. My biggest disappointments have been fourfold. · The lack of breath I experience when walking, especially uphill. This is restrictive. I use Hi-Flow cassettes where possible, but they still do not give me unrestricted freedom. · The H.M.E. cassettes easily block with saliva and phlegm when bending forward, say in the garden or when setting a wood fire, etc. · The back plates come unstuck all too quickly, either when I get hot, or simply when the air pressure involved in speaking blows them off. · Having to have a new prosthesis (speech valve) about every 42 days has been a pain. The day it starts to leak is terrible with coughing and the exchange on the ward – while considerately performed – is often uncomfortable. Brenda has been an immense help and constant encouragement to me. Her support makes all the efforts worth making. The staff at Treliske: from surgeons and nurses to cleaners on Wheal Coates, the Speech Language Therapists and the MacMillan nurse, have all been superb. The Speak Easy club members have all helped with practical tips given during casual conversation around meetings. The voice of experience is more practical than printed manuals. I am currently trying to learn to smell again. I have found it encouraging to know my snatches of wafted fragrance are happening several years before another fellow laryngectomee. Now I want to learn to smell a rose when I choose, and not only catch burnt toast when it happens! I do think living without a voice-box gets easier as time passes by, (fourteen months at present). For me it is a question of learning to accept permanent limitations and experimenting with ways of overcoming the others. The biggest help is a change of mind set. I have settled the fact that life as I previously enjoyed it will never return. I now have opportunities to establish a new and different life. I have gained new friends at the hospital and the Speak Easy network. I have a better understanding of people with disabilities. There is no point in going over things I have lost because moping will never bring them back.