The Master's instructions about everyday life. (Ephesians 5:25-6:4).
There can be no doubt that this is the most important responsibility God will give to any man. He may work in the secular world for fifty hours every week and serve in the church for most of his free time, but he is called by God to be a husband and a father for every hour of every day of
every year. Men – when you arrive home from work you have arrived at your most important task!
Ephesians 5:25 – 6:4 teaches at least four goals for the Christian family man.
To give leadership in the home
It was Adam that God held responsible for the rebellion in the Garden of
Eden (Genesis 3:9). Paul says that the man is ‘the head of the wife as
Christ is the Head of the church’. Our Lord Jesus has never abdicated
His role for the church and neither should any Christian man shirk his role
in the home. Leadership involves strength and sacrifice. It involves
decision-making and maintaining dedication. It involves time, sometimes
experimenting with trial and error, and it involves tenderness.
To initiate love in the family
The love with which God loves the world is the same love that he
commands the husband to have for his wife. It goes beyond sexual love,
beyond sisterly love, and into spiritual love, which is made possible only
through God’s Holy Spirit in your heart and life.
Paul gives three comparisons to show just how much a husband should love
his partner. He should love ‘as Christ loved the church’. He should love
‘as his own body’. He should love ‘as he loves himself’. God loves us in
spite of our faults, in spite of our failures and in spite of our faithlessness.
He never walks out on us. He never washes His hands of us. He never wavers
in His love for us. He seeks love and He strengthens what love He finds. What
a challenging pattern!
To look after the family needs
The words ‘feeding’ and ‘caring’ are very descriptive of this part of the
Christian husband’s responsibility. All the needs of the church are met in
Jesus Christ. With God’s help the husband should endeavour to meet the
physical, material, emotional, mental and spiritual needs of his family. Of
course there is a world of difference usually between ‘needs’ and ‘wants’.
It may be that your first job is to teach your family to be more discerning in
this matter!
To be a living example to the family
The Bible’s phrase describing God as ‘our heavenly Father’ puts the onus
on any dad to live as an ‘imitator of God’ (Ephesians 5:1). Children should
be able to learn what God is like by looking at their father on earth. They
can tell the difference between reality and hypocrisy. They get
exasperated very quickly if they see you saying one thing but doing
another.
Notice that training and instruction in the things of the Lord are also
part of the Christian father’s work. They should never be left to the
pastor or the Sunday School teacher. Their job is to reinforce the
teaching already given in the Christian home.
Is the time you invest in your family really in proportion to the
responsibility God has given you?
Other scriptures to read: Proverbs 29:15-17; Colossians 3:21;
1 Timothy 3:4-5; 1 Peter 3:7.
Discussion guide on ‘Living as a Christian Husband and Father’
Reading Ephesians 5:25-6:4.
1. Ephesians 5:1 tells us to “imitate God” as Christians. There must be
nothing remotely like “sexual immorality”, verse 3. Christians must
“find out what pleases the Lord”, verse 10, and “understand the
Lord’s will”, verse 17. Verses 18-20 may describe a family at
worship. All this leads to the teaching on the Christian family.
Why is it important to see the context of this family teaching?
What is the secret for having the ability to live the way God wants
us to? Verses 1,18,20.
2. How will children judge God when they pray, “Our Father, Who is in
heaven…”?
3. How does Galatians 3:28, “in Christ, … there is neither male or
female”, comment on the wrong attitudes of some people, who
believe men are superior to women (or women are superior to men)?
4. Why do you think it was Adam God called to account for the very
first sin, when it was Eve who first took the forbidden fruit?
Genesis 3:6, 9-12.
5. Ephesians uses three examples of how a man should love his wife.
How would you sum them all up in a short sentence?
Ephesians 5: 23,25,28.
6. Why is a child likely to be “exasperated”, “provoked to anger” by
his or her father? 6:4. How can the father best overcome this?
7. Whose job is it to teach children the word and the ways of God?
Justify your answer from our reading. How do you think it will best
be done?